Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Randomize
