i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Randomize
