i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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