I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
