I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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