Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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