"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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