just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
