your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
