I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
