Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
