just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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