So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
