I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
