Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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