oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
