My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
he thought i was a dude.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
