Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
