oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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