the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Randomize
