i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Barsexuality is the new black.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
All I want is dick and wine.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
