last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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