4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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