My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
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