He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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