You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
