Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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