I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
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