I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
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