I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
