Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Randomize
