Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I'm really busy with my period
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