remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
