everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Randomize
