apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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