I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Randomize