Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
