like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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