Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
