She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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