I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
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