no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
