Do you still have your period?
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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