I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
