If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
