I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Randomize
