You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
