i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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