i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
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