i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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