Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
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