I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
