Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
i need some magic done to my vagina
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