I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
