Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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