so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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