just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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