I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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