At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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