Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize