I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
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