It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
i love accidental penises.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
