Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Randomize
